“We admitted that we were powerless over our problems-that our lives had become unmanageable”.
Recovering from our problems always starts by admitting defeat. When it comes to alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, hurts, hang-ups, habits or whatever the problem may be, whether we are trying to control someone else’s bad habits or our own, healing starts when we come to terms with the absolute reality that we are powerless; powerless over people, places and things. Our problems are real and we can’t break free from it by ourselves.
We have tried to convince ourselves many times over that our willpower is strong enough only to realize that it isn’t. We have convinced ourselves that we don’t need a program, God or anyone else to help us. We have had periods of sanity, but invariably we fail and we continue down the spiral. We have blamed people, places and things for all our troubles and misfortunes crafting a perfect way to avoid the truth of our own powerlessness. If the problem was someone else fault, or something that we had no control over then he or she or it is the key to fixing our problems. We have always wanted other people and things around us to get fixed first. But by isolating ourselves and trying to control everything around us we have destroyed many or most of our precious relationships. We were filled with pride and it will destroy us.
When we accept that we are powerless, and admit that we can’t fight this war by ourselves, we will discover the glorious paradox of surrendering-putting up the white flag; handing the battle over, admitting defeat.
We must believe and have hope! Surrender makes it possible for us to feel hope. By admitting and accepting our own powerlessness, we open our minds and hearts to an entirely new idea: the possibility that something greater than ourselves is powerful enough to relieve us of our obsessions and compulsions and that gives us hope. It’s our new starting point. It is a path that holds the key to more power and direction than we have on our own. It elevates us from where we are to where we want to go. We have tried to do what is right on our own but we couldn’t. We know we can’t do this by ourselves .This doesn’t happen overnight for anyone. It is fearful and scary, and that’s normal. We wouldn’t have been human if we didn’t feel this way.
Trying to get over our habits and hang ups on our own is impossible. There are many reasons for this but one of them is that part of our current make-up causes us to deny the truth about who we are and what our situations are truly like. It causes us to stay stuck in denial and it protects us from seeing what our lives have turned out to be.
Rigorous honesty is required, we have to surrender. When we do this we unlock the door to healing. Our battle will be over but it has to come from us wholeheartedly. There is no shame in admitting our powerlessness over our problems. It’s a brave and honourable thing to do. People that live in victory know when to fight and know when to surrender. This is our time to surrender. It is a daring admission but it has to be made now. It is not easy but let me assure you it’s easier to do before it’s too late. The consequences of our actions have brought us to this place. We have a choice.
Healing will not be possible unless we admit our own powerlessness. It’s time to stop justifying our behaviour and come to terms with reality. When we have been beaten, we become willing.